Don't hold back now, Doc!!

No need to candy coat what I'm about to share with you.  On Monday June 8th, 2020 I had my first appointment with the oncologist, who gave it to me straight.  It was a lot to process and for the first time, I was taken aback a bit although I wasn't really expecting the BEST of news.  He explained that the cancer has now taken up residency in different hot spots throughout my bones (metastisis).  He told me that the cancer is aggresive and that he in turn wants to take aggresive action in treating it ASAP.  My Gleason score out of 1-10 is a TEN. (Do I get a trophy for this?? :-) )

Soooo....I begin chemotherapy next Monday the 15th, and will also be given Xgeva which inhibits the breakdown of the bone.  These treatments will go on for the next 6 months every 3 weeks.  He then made it clear that my respective cancer is incurable but controllable, and that I will probably deal with it as long as I live (however long THAT will be).

I received an injection of Lupron, which inhibits the male's ability to produce testosterone, which feeds the cancer cells, and I will receive every three months.  In turn, the estrogen levels will take over and due to that, I will experience female menopausal symptoms (Can't wait, boys).  But this is necessary to slow down the growth of the cancer because it feeds on testosterone.  At least I know I had high testosterone going in, but this serves as little consolation NOW.

On Monday the 22nd, I will go in to have a port installed in my chest to have easy access for the chemo needle/treatment.  This will be a brand new challenge for me, but I'm prepared mentally, spiritually, and physically for "What's next?"

I thank you all for your continued prayers, well wishes and support.  Believe me, I feel every bit of it and it lifts my spirit like you don't know.  I'm sorry if I can't answer each and every one of your texts, emails, Facebook comments and letters, but know that I am extremely grateful.

Look for the release of both songs/videos in the coming weeks.  First - "Questions For God" and then "New Mexico Midnights".  "Questions" specifically is SO timely for what our country and planet are going through at the moment, and I wrote it over 15 years ago, but the universe decided it was time to put it out in the cosmos.  I can't stop watching it and I'm so excited for you all to see what Carole Pellatt has created visually to compliment my song.

Adios for now and que, Dios los bendiga. (May God bless you)

25 comments

  • Connie Irvine
    Connie Irvine Queen Creek, Arizona
    Thanks for posting in your cancer journal. I've always thought you were a talented and eloquent writer, and your journal expresses your experiences so well. We are all thinking of you every day, Freddie. Love to you, as always!

    Thanks for posting in your cancer journal. I've always thought you were a talented and eloquent writer, and your journal expresses your experiences so well. We are all thinking of you every day, Freddie. Love to you, as always!

  • Dina
    Dina Acevedo
    I admire your courage and strength as you share your updates! You are touching so many lives as you go through this. If anyone can beat this, it is you, Freddie! We continue to unite in prayer asking God for your healing🙏🏼. We love you 💝

    I admire your courage and strength as you share your updates! You are touching so many lives as you go through this. If anyone can beat this, it is you, Freddie! We continue to unite in prayer asking God for your healing🙏🏼.
    We love you 💝

  • Susan
    Susan Peoria, Az
    You’re amazing, Freddie! Your courageous spirit could move mountains, I can feel it. You are in my nightly prayers. Love you my dear friend. 🙏❤️🙏❤️

    You’re amazing, Freddie! Your courageous spirit could move mountains, I can feel it. You are in my nightly prayers. Love you my dear friend. 🙏❤️🙏❤️

  • Mary Ann Rodriguez Davidson
    Mary Ann Rodriguez Davidson Fort Worth, TX
    Freddie you have all Tiger Pride and especially prayers that are thinking of you keep your great positive strength it will help you all through this crazy time God is good my friend

    Freddie you have all Tiger Pride and especially prayers that are thinking of you keep your great positive strength it will help you all through this crazy time God is good my friend

  • Susan Kirk
    Susan Kirk Burlingame, CA
    I admire your positive outlook, it’s so important! Good luck Freddie, you’re in my prayers. Keep the faith 🙏🏻 We’re an extension of Fern & Yvonne... if you need anything just say the word! Susan Kirk

    I admire your positive outlook, it’s so important! Good luck Freddie, you’re in my prayers. Keep the faith 🙏🏻
    We’re an extension of Fern & Yvonne... if you need anything just say the word!

    Susan Kirk

  • David Francesconi
    David Francesconi
    Wow primo, at least you know what’s coming - well as you can see you have a ton of Angels around you. Just let me know what you would like me to do and it’s done- Love you FD from DF

    Wow primo, at least you know what’s coming - well as you can see you have a ton of Angels around you. Just let me know what you would like me to do and it’s done-

    Love you FD from DF

  • Rosalie Contreras
    Rosalie Contreras Ahwatukee, Arizona
    My dear Freddie, you have always worn your heart on your sleeve... you are one of the kindest, selfless, loving person I know. Hearing what you are now going through and how you are handling the news is no surprise. You will always in my eyes be a mighty warrior.... one who will fight to get through the biggest challenge and come out victorious. I will stand firm in my belief that you will defeat the monster that wants to dwell in your body. IT can’t win, IT will never be welcomed. Please know that I continue to pray for complete healing and restoration. Love you my friend!❤️ “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”" - ‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭

    My dear Freddie, you have always worn your heart on your sleeve... you are one of the kindest, selfless, loving person I know. Hearing what you are now going through and how you are handling the news is no surprise. You will always in my eyes be a mighty warrior.... one who will fight to get through the biggest challenge and come out victorious.
    I will stand firm in my belief that you will defeat the monster that wants to dwell in your body. IT can’t win, IT will never be welcomed.
    Please know that I continue to pray for complete healing and restoration.
    Love you my friend!❤️

    “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”"
    - ‭‭Joshua‬ ‭1:9‬ ‭

  • Gracie Martinez
    Gracie Martinez Chandler, Az
    Day by day week by week. Still uplifting you and glad you are feeling all the prayers that surround you. I hope you are watching funny movies and shows.

    Day by day week by week. Still uplifting you and glad you are feeling all the prayers that surround you.
    I hope you are watching funny movies and shows.

  • Maria Garcia
    Maria Garcia Alamogordo
    Freddie you’re always in our prayers here with family and friends. I’ve been approached by many who knew you from Chihuahuita, Delaware Avenue, New York Avenue, Maryland and Virginia Streets, ICC church, that have seen your posts. All of us so saddened for you by your news but also knowing that you are strong willed and that you have your faith and so many many of us holding you in our hearts and in our prayers. God Bless You today and Always.

    Freddie you’re always in our prayers here with family and friends. I’ve been approached by many who knew you from Chihuahuita, Delaware Avenue, New York Avenue, Maryland and Virginia Streets, ICC church, that have seen your posts. All of us so saddened for you by your news but also knowing that you are strong willed and that you have your faith and so many many of us holding you in our hearts and in our prayers. God Bless You today and Always.

  • Tracy Challis
    Tracy Challis Phx
    Thank you for the updates. I think about you daily and I am grateful to know what is happening with you. I am excited for you to share your song and video. What a wonderful gift for the world. Your beautiful voice and your gift of storytelling bless all who hear you. I am glad you are feeling the love from all who care about you. All those connections you have made, all the hearts you have touched, all your friends throughout the years, I hope their love, prayers, and energy give you strength.

    Thank you for the updates. I think about you daily and I am grateful to know what is happening with you.
    I am excited for you to share your song and video. What a wonderful gift for the world. Your beautiful voice and your gift of storytelling bless all who hear you.
    I am glad you are feeling the love from all who care about you. All those connections you have made, all the hearts you have touched, all your friends throughout the years, I hope their love, prayers, and energy give you strength.

  • Ray & Diana Green
    Ray & Diana Green Alamogordo
    We are thinking of you every day, and marveling at your positive spirit as you hurdle past each new diagnosis, each new procedure, and keep on plowing through. We’re cheering for you Freddie!

    We are thinking of you every day, and marveling at your positive spirit as you hurdle past each new diagnosis, each new procedure, and keep on plowing through. We’re cheering for you Freddie!

  • dora
    dora chandler
    Dear God Freddie, You are truly a warrior. Bravest of brave, kindest of kind. You never cease to amaze me. You are so welcoming of the universal spirits that be. I pray for your journey to be what you and God decide. I and so many other souls are truly thinking of you always and sending love and energy toward you beating this and staying here with us. I love you as always and so grateful to know you and hear your soul through your music.

    Dear God Freddie, You are truly a warrior. Bravest of brave, kindest of kind. You never cease to amaze me.
    You are so welcoming of the universal spirits that be. I pray for your journey to be what you and God decide. I and so many other souls are truly thinking of you always and sending love and energy toward you beating this and staying here with us. I love you as always and so grateful to know you and hear your soul through your music.

  • Judy Teeters
    Judy Teeters Glendale
    Freddie you are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋🦋👩‍🦱👩‍🦱🎼🎷

    Freddie you are in my thoughts and prayers 🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋🦋👩‍🦱👩‍🦱🎼🎷

  • Thresa Salas
    Thresa Salas Paris Texas
    Hey Freddie we love you and hate to hear this my mother has bone cancer and has had for 4 years and is doing great she takes a treatment every 3 months that goes straight to her bones but they also have her on a pill called Ibrance that works really well she is on a program where she gets it for free most of the time you might get your doctor to check on getting you on that and getting you on that program we love and miss you a lot you are always in our hearts and in our prayers

    Hey Freddie we love you and hate to hear this my mother has bone cancer and has had for 4 years and is doing great she takes a treatment every 3 months that goes straight to her bones but they also have her on a pill called Ibrance that works really well she is on a program where she gets it for free most of the time you might get your doctor to check on getting you on that and getting you on that program we love and miss you a lot you are always in our hearts and in our prayers

  • Lloy D. Bigas
    Lloy D. Bigas Las Cruces, N.M.
    We wiil keep you in OUR thoughts and prayers Freddie, In Jesus name we pray, AMEN...

    We wiil keep you in OUR thoughts and prayers Freddie, In Jesus name we pray, AMEN...

  • Judith Merritt
    Judith Merritt Scottsdale
    Freddie..my heart is breaking for you right now, however so proud of your attitude going forward. It will prove to make things much easier. I pray you can maintain your positivity🙏🏼⚘💜 Looking forward to hearing your songs!

    Freddie..my heart is breaking for you right now, however so proud of your attitude going forward. It will prove to make things much easier. I pray you can maintain your positivity🙏🏼⚘💜
    Looking forward to hearing your songs!

  • Joey Duran
    Joey Duran Pilot Point, TX
    Tio, you are a blessed man! You have an awesome family and friends who are walking with you on your journey! I said one rosary for you this past Sunday before mass and plan on at least two others in the coming weeks. I pray for a quick recovery from the chemo treatments and that your “male menopause” inspires you to write a new song that captures the emotions flowing through you! Love, prayers, and support coming your way, love always, tu sobrino Joey Duran

    Tio, you are a blessed man! You have an awesome family and friends who are walking with you on your journey! I said one rosary for you this past Sunday before mass and plan on at least two others in the coming weeks. I pray for a quick recovery from the chemo treatments and that your “male menopause” inspires you to write a new song that captures the emotions flowing through you! Love, prayers, and support coming your way, love always, tu sobrino Joey Duran

  • Jennifer Gaston
    Jennifer Gaston Tularosa, New Mexico
    Hello Freddie.. i have never meet you. I am married to Gilbert Gaston. I have heard ALOT about you and the stories of your family. I have always enjoyed your music. I am very sad to hear this challenge you have been given. I am praying for your strength to beat this through to the end. Gilbert, his Dad, and I talk about you alot. You are definitely in our prayers everyday. Hope to meet you soon.

    Hello Freddie.. i have never meet you. I am married to Gilbert Gaston. I have heard ALOT about you and the stories of your family. I have always enjoyed your music. I am very sad to hear this challenge you have been given. I am praying for your strength to beat this through to the end. Gilbert, his Dad, and I talk about you alot. You are definitely in our prayers everyday. Hope to meet you soon.

  • Shannon D'Arpino
    Shannon D'Arpino Tucson, AZ
    Thank you for you honesty and transparency. I will keep praying for you and am sending healing light. Love you!!

    Thank you for you honesty and transparency. I will keep praying for you and am sending healing light. Love you!!

  • Hilda Scott
    Hilda Scott Phoenix
    Freddie, thinking about you. Keep the faith. Its a tough road your headed to but Gods got you. I been down this road with Danny and Carmelo, so believe me I seen the miracles God has done. So keep that head up and take it one day at a time. Love you amigo

    Freddie, thinking about you. Keep the faith. Its a tough road your headed to but Gods got you. I been down this road with Danny and Carmelo, so believe me I seen the miracles God has done. So keep that head up and take it one day at a time. Love you amigo

  • ofelia canez
    ofelia canez Mesa
    Federico, always in my prayers, sending you sun-lavishing spirits your way to brighten your day....Nuestra fe colectiva te dara paz y amor y milagros de vida diario...Healing spirits...healing waves and much much love...I cant wait to watch the videos...I am sure the guys miss you on their gigs...Mr. Freddie the life of the party....keep on truck'en..and slipping and sliding like you did in the Pinetop hotel room!!!!!

    Federico, always in my prayers, sending you sun-lavishing spirits your way to brighten your day....Nuestra fe colectiva te dara paz y amor y milagros de vida diario...Healing spirits...healing waves and much much love...I cant wait to watch the videos...I am sure the guys miss you on their gigs...Mr. Freddie the life of the party....keep on truck'en..and slipping and sliding like you did in the Pinetop hotel room!!!!!

  • Verna Williams
    Verna Williams PHOENIX
    Hey Freddie, Wish you hadn't been thrown in this boat, Man. What I have is Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer involving Lungs and Liver (my bones are okay, but, my Oncologist decided to check my brain and I don't know what that involves). I so did not want to do I.V. Chemotherapy again, but, here I am! Over the last year and a half I have been trying to avoid this type of chemo and have tried every pill type available to me. The side effects weren't too bad with some of them, but, one of them had me running to the hospital. But, I am back on I.V. Chemo because the pills just weren't as effective as I needed them to be. What was good for my lungs wasn't good for my liver, or, didn't work for either. The worst thing about chemo is it robs you of your energy and your hair. More than anything, I want for you to come out of this, through this, into an ideal form of maintenance that allows you to continue the things you love with the people you love. There is no cure for Stage 4, they can't even back it up to a Stage 3, but, they CAN arrest the growth and spread of what you have and prevent new "bad cells" from becoming! I have a lot of love for you Freddie and I want all of the best for you. If you ever need the benefit of my 10 years of cancer experience, just let me know. I'll tell you what nobody told me and stuff that helped me through the fear and confusion. Don't give your Guardian Angels too hard a time! Sparky

    Hey Freddie,
    Wish you hadn't been thrown in this boat, Man. What I have is Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer involving Lungs and Liver (my bones are okay, but, my Oncologist decided to check my brain and I don't know what that involves). I so did not want to do I.V. Chemotherapy again, but, here I am! Over the last year and a half I have been trying to avoid this type of chemo and have tried every pill type available to me. The side effects weren't too bad with some of them, but, one of them had me running to the hospital. But, I am back on I.V. Chemo because the pills just weren't as effective as I needed them to be. What was good for my lungs wasn't good for my liver, or, didn't work for either. The worst thing about chemo is it robs you of your energy and your hair.
    More than anything, I want for you to come out of this, through this, into an ideal form of maintenance that allows you to continue the things you love with the people you love.
    There is no cure for Stage 4, they can't even back it up to a Stage 3, but, they CAN arrest the growth and spread of what you have and prevent new "bad cells" from becoming!
    I have a lot of love for you Freddie and I want all of the best for you. If you ever need the benefit of my 10 years of cancer experience, just let me know. I'll tell you what nobody told me and stuff that helped me through the fear and confusion.
    Don't give your Guardian Angels too hard a time!
    Sparky

  • Jason Heninger
    Jason Heninger Concord, CA
    Hey Freddie, You are a beautiful and humorous soul, and an inspiration to us all. Thank you for always being the life of the party. Thank you for passionately sharing your gift with the world. Thank you for being the light that you are and continue to be. We are thinking of you and praying for you! With Love, Jason, Ashley, Quinn, and Bennett

    Hey Freddie,

    You are a beautiful and humorous soul, and an inspiration to us all. Thank you for always being the life of the party. Thank you for passionately sharing your gift with the world. Thank you for being the light that you are and continue to be. We are thinking of you and praying for you!

    With Love,
    Jason, Ashley, Quinn, and Bennett

  • GeorgeVelasquez
    GeorgeVelasquez Phx. ( Belen , New Mexico
    My dear friend,this news has mad eme so sad ,Please stay strong , Have faith ,because you don't know what willhappen.Our prayers & Rosarios estan todo los Dias ,LOVEYOU

    My dear friend,this news has mad eme so sad ,Please stay strong , Have faith ,because you don't know what willhappen.Our prayers & Rosarios estan todo los Dias ,LOVEYOU

  • Esther Roman
    Esther Roman Springfield, IL
    I think of you everyday primo...and I pray for you...

    I think of you everyday primo...and I pray for you...

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